Now why for the Love of God can't I just stop yo-yo-ing when it comes to weight loss?
Why can't all the foods I mindlessly pig out on taste like cream corn, yuck! So that I wouldn't crave foods that are making me fat?
Why is it that from out of nowhere I can hear food calling me by name like something out of the Twilight Zone?
Why is it that one mouth full of my most tempting foods starts the on set of close to being orgasmic moans that I make me want to sink my teeth into the pure pleasure of food, yet when the pleasure is over all too quickly I might add, I end up feeling guilty for enjoying the thrill and abused by food? Abused? Huh, huh, because after the pleasure it turns around and plasters it's self all over my body in the form of globs of unslightly fat. eww!
Orgasmic moans? Ever tried a Krispy Kreme donut? ORGASMIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, Why, why, why, why, why did I weigh in on Sunday July 8, at 221.5 lbs then step off the scale feeling like little Ms. Hottie to the Left over there, even though we all know that I'm closer to being Ms. Hottie to the right, but not so Hottie hottie, then become big headed enough to think that just because I lost 11 lbs during my first week on the beach, that I could reward myself with a free ticket to eat without conseqence, and PIG THE HELL OUT! as though I were thin and completely healed of my obeseity.
This makes no sense to me, Yeah, I get the part about feeling pretty pleased with myself, afterall 11 lbs down, is some pretty pleasing stuff to be pleased about. But like the Carpenter's song goes, we've (I've) only just begun! And it should have been right up there in the top 10 list of "Girl this is what you need to comprende."
1. Your not on a diet your in a life style change.
2. Just because you loose weight today, does not mean that you can eat like it's gonna go out os style if you don't.
3.) The scale is not ok, is your friend, because it's always going to tell you the truth.
Let me stop at 3.
But me being me, whadda know, yeah you guessed it, the BEAST, called Glutton rose up from my slowly shrinking tummy and I've been chowing down on carbs ever since.
Jesus, I only had 7 days to go before I could slowly re-introduced good carbs into my life. 7 days, and I couldn't hold my horses till July 15th weigh in.
So, here we go again thankful that haven't gained all 11 lbs but disgusted that I've gained a solid 5 to 6. Needless to say the scale dance has once again started, and since I have two scales strategically placed one in front of the other, so it's almost as though I'm dancing the electric slide as I hop on one, walk forward and hop on the other, get off then walk backwards and hop on the other again. Doing the electric slide. And I do this a few times until I finally let it sink in duh, that the numbers aren't going down.
As soon as the truth hits me, it's time to do the cha cha cha. Cha, Cha, Cha for more desparate measures.
So it's clothes on, "oh my God, that can't be right! clothes off........ down .2 cha cha cha, 
move to the left, cha cha cha, move to the right, cha cha cha and bloody cha! move to the front, move to the back. Bend, move the scale, stand on, toes off, stand off stand on heels off, stand on, lean to the left, lean to the right, hands straight down, hands on hip, cha, cha, cha. Light blub idea coming on
time to pee cha cha cha, get off the scale, get back on down .4 cha cha cha, Huh? Huh? cha cha, time to poop, cha cha cha, that's it, my one saving grace, cha cha cha, squeeze my brains out in my best constipated effort cha cha cha and a desperate need to invest in some flax seed? yuckedy cha! 
Lord it's like a little me trying to break free from the insanity cha cha cha. That should do it, cha cha cha. (you'll be singing it tomorrow. laugh)
move to the left, cha cha cha, move to the right, cha cha cha and bloody cha! move to the front, move to the back. Bend, move the scale, stand on, toes off, stand off stand on heels off, stand on, lean to the left, lean to the right, hands straight down, hands on hip, cha, cha, cha. Light blub idea coming on time to pee cha cha cha, get off the scale, get back on down .4 cha cha cha, Huh? Huh? cha cha, time to poop, cha cha cha, that's it, my one saving grace, cha cha cha, squeeze my brains out in my best constipated effort cha cha cha and a desperate need to invest in some flax seed? yuckedy cha! Lord it's like a little me trying to break free from the insanity cha cha cha. That should do it, cha cha cha. (you'll be singing it tomorrow. laugh)Hey someone has to talk about it, because we all know that POOP is a dieter's nightmare when your constipated, and trust me there are all kinds of poop depending on what kind of plan your on, but constipated Pre Poop weigh in's, are the worse and will totally Mess with your head, So being the weight loss diet pro that I am, I've learned by now that if I just sit and wait that poop out, I'll be that much lighter when I'm done. 
especially when I know that a weight loss of .4 lbs just won't cut it.
especially when I know that a weight loss of .4 lbs just won't cut it.Aww patience is a virtue for sure, 1 lb lighter, Horayyyyyyyyy! Yeah, Yeah, Yeah eww how gross, but a brick is a hell of a lot of weight to carry and at 1 lb lighter I ain't gonna lie, I'm happy that I don't feel so heavy!
So ladies and gents, today I weighed at 226.5 on one scale and 225.2 on the other..... Either way it boils down to a SOLID 5 to 6 lb gain. But a whole 1 lbs loss.
So please excuse my French, when I say I'm so tired of this sheeeeeeeeet! No pun intended.
