STARTING OVER

Question > How many times can one start over? Answer > Till one gets it right.

So here I am again, not sure what my weight is for today, but a couple of days ago I weighed in at 233.4 lb's so I would imagine that I'm somewhere in that ball park give or take a pound or two butt naked. Even so I'll weigh in before going to bed and again at the start of my day.

I started my weight loss program today and so far so good. I'm doing deal a meal again, hey I know it works and I know that I can do it without having to do a whole lot of work. I can basically eat whatever I like, and apply a card to it and I like the fact that it is what it is, when the cards or done, or the move it slots are closed, that's it, your done eating. A no brain-er for sure. (I had to purchase deal a meal again, only this time I bid on the food mover pocket calculator because I know I have deal a meal cards in a box, somewhere in the garage) I prefer the cards, but the mover over gadget works just as well. It's just a different angel towards doing the same exact thing.


Anyway, I'll weigh in tomorrow. And I'll start my video blog today.




Ok, Eats:
Breakfast: 1 slice bread, (1 starch) spread of marg. (1 fat) 1 oz 95 % FF deli ham. (1 protein) 1 cup yogurt with aspartame sweetener. (1 milk) 1 glass water. (Getting it down is hard)

Lunch: 1 small fruit cup, ( 1 fruit) 2 slices bread, (2 starch) spread of marg (count as above fat total, 1 tsp) 1 oz 95% FF deli ham. (1 p
Water. (Raving up to drink a glass)

Snack: 1 small side salad. (freebie) FF dressing (1 fat) 1 orange (1 fruit)

Changes
On a soda, juices and sugar in my coffee detox for 7 days. Switched to more fat free items, switched from whole milk to 2%
Eating more fruit and vegetables,

OK RESULTS PLEASE!

Yeah, I know I haven't posted the cholesterol results, hmm not sure why since they were <100 which is really GOOD, in fact the pharmacist said that I won the cookie reward for the day, strange how he didn't produce one after having said it. Anyway I was straving since I hadn't eaten all morning because it was a 12.30 lunch time appointment.

I'm not sure what I ate later on that day.

I'm bigger now than I ever have been, I haven't weighed in, but the need to confirm what I already know to be the truth just isn't there.

I'm going to start a vidoe blog called Changing face. And I'll up load a bulk of them all at once, let you know when though.

Diet....... Hmm I have something up my sleeve.

Will write soon......... I'm still here. Getting a grip!

SO THIS IS IT

It's the , the day before the and as of midnight tonight, nothing goes in my mouth food wise until after I get my cholesterol check done. And then it's on. small deliberate steps towards healthy weight loss.

Truthfully there really isn't anything much for me to report until then, because I haven't weighed in in God knows how long, so without a doubt the numbers on the scale should be real interesting tomorrow.

I'm sleepy a lot, going to bed much to late........ And the book, has gone to the place where books that once held interest go to die. Hey I'm a Gemini what can I say.

But one thing for sure, this cholesterol check is as a result of reading it, this mentally relaxing time out is a result of reading it. My mental preparation over these last weeks have been a result of reading it, so it is nothing without reward.

Tomorrow I'll have all the numbers in hand, and I'll proceed from there.

Come visit.....

Until then, keep jiggy with it.

I HAVE ANKLES

Update, nothing new to report, I'm still waiting for my cholesterol test to be taken, still eating everything I want. I have all my exercise equipment together. Still preparing mentally. I'm still reading chapter 3, I wasn't kidding when I said this was going to be a slow read. But pacing isn't without reason and so I'm ok with it.

I have a little over 2 weeks to go before I start working the program, as in diet and exercise. And when the measurement, weights, cholesterol stats etc are all in, that's the day I begin. September 13, 2007.

Ending on a high note, at least for me, laugh! I have ankles today.

The discovery came when I went to the bathroom, after spending a penny on the royal throne, I bent forward then down, in order to scoop my extra large knickers up from around my ankles and there they were, ankles, MY ANKLES, Not my normal cankles, but real smaller than cankles, ankles. I couldn't help looking at them through the tunnel sized holes of each side of my under ware. Twisting and turning them, as I peeked at them from every angle, I was happier than a pig in sh*t. I can tell you, (Excuse my Farm lingo.)
Because Whadda know for the first time in a long time, I don't have water retention.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, laughing!

I FEEL REALLY REALLY

FAT!!!!!

YU SO CRAZZZZZZZZZZZYYYY

Girl yu so crazyyyyy! At least that's how I feel for today.


1. I'm going to be officiating over a marriage ceremony in September and I'm fat.
2. And because I'm fat I dread having my pictures taken for the event.
3. That makes me want to pull a diet out of my weight loss diet quick fix hat..
4. A diet that will make me loose lets see, 60 lbs by the time the wedding comes around.
5. But, I'm not loosing weight I'm gaining. I wonder why?
6. I'm still on chapter 3 of the book.
7. Because I'm still slow reading, so that I can Pace myself and get the right frame of mind in my approach to this program, although at times it's hard for me to understand why.
8. And my cholesterol test isn't until September 13th. Hence the reason behind my delayed start.

Girl yu so crazzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyy!

Truth is, every single time that I've focused on a weight loss program, I've awaited moments like these when I could just EAT anything and everything if and whenever I wanted to. But now that I can and I am eating everything that I want to, whenever I want to, I can't help but feel totally weird about it. There are times when I feel really guilty and I can't help but feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do, like there's some hard and fast rule amongst dieters, a code of honor that I'm being disloyal to, especially when I read other weight loss blogs and every one is loosing weight or feeling bad about having gained .5 lbs. What's crazy is that I'm not loosing by choice. UH! not loosing by choice? so you mean to say that we could choose to loose 60 lbs in 6 weeks if we all wanted to? Nawwwwwww! that's not what I mean, what I mean is, that I have made a choice to just Eat and read. For a while and that isn't the norm for someone that really wants to loose weight. Can you say, Girl yu so crazyyyyyyyyy?

Yeah, I know that I could cut back and just watch what I eat until this program kicks in, but there's a part of me that is committed to doing it Kirsch's way or not at all, yet even I can't kid myself into thinking that actively doing the 6 week challenge is supposed to be drawn out over 4 weeks until the reader starts. Nope I don't think that's what he had in mind for the reader, but I can't help but feel that if Kirsch knew that even in reading the first two chapters I fully comprehend the mental preparation that is needed to get started he wouldn't frown on the fact that I'm getting all my ducks in a row which is something I've never really done before. The rational behind this time table is simply this, I want and it is important to me that I follow the program with a clear and sound mind, I've discarded the old way of doing things, I'm totally open and ready to try his methods without twisting is recommendations to benefit me in the short term but do me more harm in the long. I've made a grounded and sound commitment to follow his program whole heartedly, without all of the fluff and glam that comes with a fanfare announcement to myself and to whoever cares to hear what program I'm on. Even in Blogging trust me when I say that it takes a lot to swim against the tide when everyone else is swimming in the same direction. But since I've completely done away with the I'll start on Monday mindset. And I've eliminated the Crash this diet quick fix diets, in fact I'm done with the I'm on a diet sentence completely, the last thing that I want to do is to rush through the book and just be totally out of my element because I did it, just so that I can say, I'm loosing weight. I'm tired of pushing myself into a square hole when I have a apple shaped body.

I have so been there and done that, that it's old already. Something has to change, and although I can't say that this program will work with a 100% commitment in my voice, I can say that I'm giving it a chance to work because I'm giving it 100% I mean I'm getting my Cholesterol checked to take part in a weight loss and exercise program. That isn't me. Or at least it wasn't me, but now since reading Kirsch, it suddenly appears that is is me and it's as important to me as loosing weight and getting fit and healthy is. Hmm I like that realization.

Girl yu so crazzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyy!


I'm up to 232.5 lbs now, which is 2 lbs shy of where I was when I weighed the most I have ever weighed in my entire life. I do feel the weight on me, there's no doubt. And it's pretty evident that I've gained because best Capri's don't fasten and the zipper keeps making these farting sounds every time I sit down as the zipper unfastens and works it's way down the teeth.
I could speed up my reading so that I'd be done with the book, but almost from the beginning I set these tiny doable goals, so that by the time I get my cholesterol checked I would be nearing the end of chapter 3, have my stats in hand and be ready to work the exercise and weight loss phase of the program, with the 6 week commitment in front of me.

I guess it's about proving the theory of the book as well as the practical aspect of it. Who knows, I might even send Kirsch my before and afters as well as my spiral note book as proof that it worked for me.

I'm doing this on a wing and a prayer........ and even though I can eat, dare I say it? uh, uh, it sure ain't easy....

And I can't help but think that of all the things that I have done to find a slimmer me, this one takes the biscuit, because it's causing me to say, at least for today, that

Girlllllllll yu so crazzzzzzyyyyy! For doing it this way.

REFLECTIONS

I just weighed myself, before peeing and pooping and 233 lbs was the number that registered on the scale, which of course resulted in instant panic. I don't however know why I'm really all that shocked, after all I know that I'm not officially on a weight loss program and that I'm eating whatever I want, when I want it. But even so, I'm 1 lb away from being at my heaviest weight once again and God forbid could even past that at the rate that I'm going.

I'm still reading the book, but would you believe have only just gotten to chapter three told you it would be a slow read, because it's a deliberate slow read. I'm answering all the exercises as recommended and my shopping list is almost complete, minus new sneakers and work out cloths, which I'll buy in the next couple of weeks.

But I've purchased all that I need to get started, exercise mat, ankle weights, dumb bells, medicine balls, stability ball. exercise tube and a skipping rope and all of that added to things I already owned means that I'm pretty much set. Minus the sneakers clothes, and bench. (I want a bench for Christmas.)

Now get this, I want to start working out....... uh, uh, it's true and last night I started using the tubes, but got put off because I was butt naked and looking in the mirror as I tried my exercise tubes. Folks please don't try this at home if you have a weight problem and your body looks anything like mine, because it's the most disheartening thing that you will ever feel. I mean there I am working the above and all I can see is the work ahead of me as I enter brain wash mode and mantra my way into inwardly saying to myself that what I'm doing isn't going to work. So it's clothes on folks, because that kind of brain washing I can do without.

Anyway regardless of how I look now, I'm going to continue with the plan. Like I've said I'm reading chapter three of the book, which consists of 111 pages. It will be in this chapter that I'll do the most work. During this chapter that I will learn proper form and start working out. For once, exercise before focusing on food intake. With me it's normally the other way around. So this should be interesting.

I'm still focused on my September 16 start date for the food aspect of the program because like I said my cholesterol check won't be until the 13th and I want to be able to compare my levels six weeks from then as he recommends. It's a different journey for me, it's new, it's focused it's deliberate and apart from exercising in the buff and the numbers on the scales today's weigh in, I feel pretty good.

As a result of today weight, I've decided not to weigh again until the 16, because I don't want to get derailed by the numbers on the scale. Because now that I think about it, Kirsch hasn't said weigh yourself, at least not yet and so I'm thinking that there must be a reason for it, considering he is more interested in the reader getting a cholesterol check. So I'm going to put the scales away as soon as I'm done here.