REFLECTIONS

I just weighed myself, before peeing and pooping and 233 lbs was the number that registered on the scale, which of course resulted in instant panic. I don't however know why I'm really all that shocked, after all I know that I'm not officially on a weight loss program and that I'm eating whatever I want, when I want it. But even so, I'm 1 lb away from being at my heaviest weight once again and God forbid could even past that at the rate that I'm going.

I'm still reading the book, but would you believe have only just gotten to chapter three told you it would be a slow read, because it's a deliberate slow read. I'm answering all the exercises as recommended and my shopping list is almost complete, minus new sneakers and work out cloths, which I'll buy in the next couple of weeks.

But I've purchased all that I need to get started, exercise mat, ankle weights, dumb bells, medicine balls, stability ball. exercise tube and a skipping rope and all of that added to things I already owned means that I'm pretty much set. Minus the sneakers clothes, and bench. (I want a bench for Christmas.)

Now get this, I want to start working out....... uh, uh, it's true and last night I started using the tubes, but got put off because I was butt naked and looking in the mirror as I tried my exercise tubes. Folks please don't try this at home if you have a weight problem and your body looks anything like mine, because it's the most disheartening thing that you will ever feel. I mean there I am working the above and all I can see is the work ahead of me as I enter brain wash mode and mantra my way into inwardly saying to myself that what I'm doing isn't going to work. So it's clothes on folks, because that kind of brain washing I can do without.

Anyway regardless of how I look now, I'm going to continue with the plan. Like I've said I'm reading chapter three of the book, which consists of 111 pages. It will be in this chapter that I'll do the most work. During this chapter that I will learn proper form and start working out. For once, exercise before focusing on food intake. With me it's normally the other way around. So this should be interesting.

I'm still focused on my September 16 start date for the food aspect of the program because like I said my cholesterol check won't be until the 13th and I want to be able to compare my levels six weeks from then as he recommends. It's a different journey for me, it's new, it's focused it's deliberate and apart from exercising in the buff and the numbers on the scales today's weigh in, I feel pretty good.

As a result of today weight, I've decided not to weigh again until the 16, because I don't want to get derailed by the numbers on the scale. Because now that I think about it, Kirsch hasn't said weigh yourself, at least not yet and so I'm thinking that there must be a reason for it, considering he is more interested in the reader getting a cholesterol check. So I'm going to put the scales away as soon as I'm done here.