Girl yu so crazyyyyy! At least that's how I feel for today.1. I'm going to be officiating over a marriage ceremony in September and I'm fat.
2. And because I'm fat I dread having my pictures taken for the event.
3. That makes me want to pull a diet out of my weight loss diet quick fix hat..
4. A diet that will make me loose lets see, 60 lbs by the time the wedding comes around.
5. But, I'm not loosing weight I'm gaining. I wonder why?
6. I'm still on chapter 3 of the book.
7. Because I'm still slow reading, so that I can Pace myself and get the right frame of mind in my approach to this program, although at times it's hard for me to understand why.
8. And my cholesterol test isn't until September 13th. Hence the reason behind my delayed start.
Girl yu so crazzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyy!
Truth is, every single time that I've focused on a weight loss program, I've awaited moments like these when I could just EAT anything and everything if and whenever I wanted to. But now that I can and I am eating everything that I want to, whenever I want to, I can't help but feel totally weird about it. There are times when I feel really guilty and I can't help but feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do, like there's some hard and fast rule amongst dieters, a code of honor that I'm being disloyal to, especially when I read other weight loss blogs and every one is loosing weight or feeling bad about having gained .5 lbs. What's crazy is that I'm not loosing by choice. UH! not loosing by choice? so you mean to say that we could choose to loose 60 lbs in 6 weeks if we all wanted to? Nawwwwwww! that's not what I mean, what I mean is, that I have made a choice to just Eat and read. For a while and that isn't the norm for someone that really wants to loose weight. Can you say, Girl yu so crazyyyyyyyyy?
Yeah, I know that I could cut back and just watch what I eat until this program kicks in, but there's a part of me that is committed to doing it Kirsch's way or not at all, yet even I can't kid myself into thinking that actively doing the 6 week challenge is supposed to be drawn out over 4 weeks until the reader starts. Nope I don't think that's what he had in mind for the reader, but I can't help but feel that if Kirsch knew that even in reading the first two chapters I fully comprehend the mental preparation that is needed to get started he wouldn't frown on the fact that I'm getting all my ducks in a row which is something I've never really done before. The rational behind this time table is simply this, I want and it is important to me that I follow the program with a clear and sound mind, I've discarded the old way of doing things, I'm totally open and ready to try his methods without twisting is recommendations to benefit me in the short term but do me more harm in the long. I've made a grounded and sound commitment to follow his program whole heartedly, without all of the fluff and glam that comes with a fanfare announcement to myself and to whoever cares to hear what program I'm on. Even in Blogging trust me when I say that it takes a lot to swim against the tide
when everyone else is swimming in the same direction. But since I've completely done away with the I'll start on Monday mindset. And I've eliminated the Crash this diet quick fix diets, in fact I'm done with the I'm on a diet sentence completely, the last thing that I want to do is to rush through the book and just be totally out of my element because I did it, just so that I can say, I'm loosing weight. I'm tired of pushing myself into a square hole when I have a apple shaped body. 
I have so been there and done that, that it's old already. Something has to change, and although I can't say that this program will work with a 100% commitment in my voice, I can say that I'm giving it a chance to work because I'm giving it 100% I mean I'm getting my Cholesterol checked to take part in a weight loss and exercise program. That isn't me. Or at least it wasn't me, but now since reading Kirsch, it suddenly appears that is is me and it's as important to me as loosing weight and getting fit and healthy is. Hmm I like that realization.
Girl yu so crazzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyy!
I'm up to 232.5 lbs now, which is 2 lbs shy of where I was when I weighed the most I have ever weighed in my entire life. I do feel the weight on me, there's no doubt. And it's pretty evident that I've gained because best Capri's don't fasten and the zipper keeps making these farting sounds every time I sit down as the zipper unfastens and works it's way down the teeth.
I could speed up my reading so that I'd be done with the book, but almost from the beginning I set these tiny doable goals, so that by the time I get my cholesterol checked I would be nearing the end of chapter 3, have my stats in hand and be ready to work the exercise and weight loss phase of the program, with the 6 week commitment in front of me.
I guess it's about proving the theory of the book as well as the practical aspect of it. Who knows, I might even send Kirsch my before and afters as well as my spiral note book as proof that it worked for me.
I'm doing this on a wing and a prayer........ and even though I can eat, dare I say it? uh, uh, it sure ain't easy....
And I can't help but think that of all the things that I have done to find a slimmer me, this one takes the biscuit, because it's causing me to say, at least for today, that
Girlllllllll yu so crazzzzzzyyyyy! For doing it this way.
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